XXIII.X.VIII
"The difficulty of literature is not to write, but to write what you mean."-Robert Stevenson.
Nights that were never suppose to happen. Those awkward words that come out all wrong, or the ones that don't come out at all. Those half boyish smiles.That sprung feeelin'. Easy flowin' conversations, raspy voices. The smell of cigg's on a cold day. Walks uphill, views downhill. Anyone that can make me second guess myself with their point of view. Slow beats, breezy days, feeling time flying. Throwback moments, unusual forms of love. What Inspires you?
ON A PURSUIT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH MY LIFE
So something.. about the Tantra attitude — the first thing: it is not an.. attitude, because Tantra looks at life with a total vision. It.. has no attitude to look at life. It has no concepts, it is not a.. philosophy. It is not even a religion, it has no theology. It.. doesn’t believe in words, theories, or doctrines. It wants to.. look at life without any philosophy, without any theory,. without any theology. It wants to look at life as it is, without bringing any mind in between —because that will be the.. distortion. The mind then will project, the mind then will mix — and then you will not be able to know that which is.
Tantra avoids mind and encounters life face to face, neither thinking, “This is good,” nor thinking, “This is bad”: simply facing that which is. So it is difficult to say that this is an attitude — in fact it is a no-attitude.
by Osho
It’s funny now because I remember being young and being able to get all my feelings down so thoroughly on paper, probably because it was so difficult for me to say anything out loud much less anything meaningful. It didn’t take long, however, for me to realize it scared the hell out of most people my age. I used to get the comment “wow that’s deep” and this weird stare from people like “what is going on in your head?” so often when I’d write a school paper or even just a bulletin on myspace, that it made me so self conscious. I took “dumbing it down” to a whole new level in high school. I regret every second of it now. I finally realize how beautiful it was to have the mentality I had at that age and how far I could’ve gotten myself.
Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world
by C.S Lewis
This was meant to be posted weeks ago, didn’t have the heart to post it so I drafted it, but here it is.
She looks frustrated, out of her mind, she jumped into the water because she needed a reason to just not breath. Now she stands there right back where she started. You may see something completely different but this is what I saw and my immediate thought was, this is me. THIS is exactly how I feel. So now you have a visual. I’m tired of writing about you. Tired of changing my mind. Tired of never changing my mind at all. I can’t find it in my heart to be angry with you, or rid of you at all. So I wait. It isn’t fair, it sure as hell ain’t easy, but I couldn’t say no if the Lord asked me to himself. I’m not sure what I’m doing right now other than driving myself crazy, but I can’t help what I wish I didn’t know. It’s not my place to be upset but if you truly love someone, you wouldn’t be able to stand the thought of them with someone else. It makes me sick to think of you with her. But it’s never seemed to bother you if I was with someone else. Maybe because you never took me seriously, maybe because you’ve never had to watch me love someone else. Or maybe because you don’t love me the way you think you do.
